You know what really grinds my gears?

Kids. Scratch that. Irresponsible parents. Parents who impose their will upon their impressionable children in the form of Halloween costumes.

Here's what I'm talking about: I saw a kid trick or treating the other day - he was in a Boy Wonder costume, aka Robin outfit. He couldn't have been more than 4 years old. Naturally when he approached me, I thought this would be the opportune time to engage him in a discussion. I said,"Hey buddy, that's a great costume! Are you Dick Grayson-Robin or Jason Todd-Robin?"

He was like, "Um, trick or treat?"

"Whoah, hold up pal. I asked you a question. No answer, no treat."

Next thing I know, his lips quivering and his eyes are getting watery and my wife asks, "Does it really matter?"

What. What? WHAT? Smooth or chunky? Paper or plastic? Cash or check? Debit or credit? Midget or Dwarf? Red pill or blue pill? Chevy or Ford? Kirk or Picard? Do the answers to these questions matter? ABSOLUTELY. I ask again, Dick Grayson or Jason Todd? Does the answer matter? I don't know, you tell me. One continues the superhero tradition as Nightwing, a well-respected, revered, peer of Batman while the other becomes a violent murdering sociopathic criminal. You tell me, does that matter? I think you're beginning to see the bigger picture here.

Just when I was about to give up on humanity, a Star Wars outfit saved the day. As a white & blue suited kid walked by, an adult shouted, "Nice Storm Trooper costume!"

The child immediately responded, "I'm not a Storm Trooper - I'm a lieutenant in the clone army!"

Well played youngling. This kid (or his parents - most likely his nerdy father) had done his research. He knew that he was a clone, in the Republic - fighting for peace in the galaxy along side the Jedi Knights. He knew, as I'm sure you know, that he wore blue because he was a lieutenant, captains wear red, and commanders wear yellow. He was not...I repeat, he was NOT a Storm Trooper for the Empire. He served no Emperor. He did not do the bidding of a Sith Lord. His service and loyalty was to the Old Republic - to democracy.

So I salute you, Lieutenant in Blue for restoring my faith in this holiday no matter how badly Boy Wonder-less tried to ruin it for me. You wear that Halloween costume as a badge of honor for you are worthy. Halloween on my friend. May you find your basket overfilled with treats a plenty and may you disperse your tricks wisely.

~ MB